by Maurice Y. Michaud (he/him)
Allow me to introduce you to Nobody. He has won thousands of elections throughout Canada since 1867. Astounding, isn’t it? And even more astonishing is the fact he wins more often today than ever before. So I’m surprised you never heard of him.
But in fact, no. I’m not surprised. Actually, I’m chuckling, because you are probably asking yourself, “What on earth is this Maurice guy talking about?!” And that’s a fair question.
For an example, take a look at the results in this riding from the 1984 federal election. There were 46,791 eligible voters, and 28,831 votes were cast (including the 163 rejected), giving a voter turnout rate of 61.62%.
 |
Grand Falls—White Bay—Labrador
Newfoundland and Labrador |
4 September 1984 First-past-the-post 1 seat |
General Election Assembly 33 Candidacies: 3 |
||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rank | Candidacies | Results | Plurality | Eligible | |||||
| 1 |  |
 |
 |
William H. Rompkey ( 48 ) * | 12,938 | 45.13% | +824 | 27.65% | 2 |
| 2 |  |
Peter J. Walsh ( 53 ) * | 12,114 | 42.26% | 25.89% | 3 | |||
| 3 |  |
Ernest J. Condon | 3,616 | 12.61% | 7.73% | 4 | |||
 |
Nobody | 17,960 | 38.38% | 1 |
|||||
| ID: 3828 (F) | Total | 28,668 | 100.00% | 100.00% | |||||
| Eligible | 46,791 | ||||||||
| Votes cast/Turnout | 28,831 | 61.62% | |||||||
| Rejected | 163 | 0.57% | |||||||
Except that, unlike PoliCan, broadcasters and the agencies responsible for administering elections never show the row for Nobody. The story that was probably told that election night in 1984 was that this was a tight race, and that it was one of the few where the Liberal Party came on top (because, after all, that night, the Progressive Conservative Party did win 211 of the 282 seats nationwide). But the hidden truth? Nobody had “won” 5,022 more votes than Rompkey. In fact, 5,022 is 1,406 more votes than what the NDP’s Condon had won!
To be fair, it’s unreasonable to expect a 100% turnout rate. One of the highest turnouts in recent memory was for the second Québec referendum on sovereignty in 1995, at a whopping 93.52%. But up until the 1980s, in most jurisdictions in Canada, a normal turnout rate was considerably higher than 70%. When it would go below that, the reasons were circumstantial: it was war time, or one party was so dominant that the outcome of the election was a foredrawn conclusion. However, when the rate goes below 72% in a riding, Nobody has a far greater chance of winning. And given that a 72% turnout is almost considered a triumph these days, you can understand why he is more successful now than he has ever been.
For instance, the participation rate in the 2022 Ontario general election was a shameful 44%, and less than 46% in the 2025 election. As a result, who do you think won the 124 seats up for grabs each time?
To ask the question is to answer it, because indeed, it was...
Nobody.
I really wish I could say that I’m only winding you up, but the truth is that Nobody has been the winner in more than half of the current legislatures in Canada. The more the participation rates tumble, the more he’s making a fool of us. And our democracy! This problem was slightly worse in elections held during the pandemic — but only slightly. For let’s not kid ourselves. As much as the pandemic wasn’t easy, it was used as a scapegoat for all current ills, and Nobody’s rise had begun long before it did. A more apt but disturbing argument would be to call into question the legitimacy of those who were elected by such a small proportion of eligible voters.
To explore how bad the problem is and is getting worse, you can:
And unlike me, try not to cry too much.
